I Married a Vampire

It's Halloween and I've discovered that my DH is kin to a vampire. We've been on the road for the last 2 days, staying in motels. He goes to sleep about 8 PM and then awakes long before dawn. I've warned him that if he gets up before 5 or 6 o'clock, he'd better keep quiet about it---we don't have to be wandering around in the dark! I'm always glad when the sun comes up because then he turns back into his old sweet self.

Bound for Yuma

Bright and early tomorrow morning we will follow the yellow brick road and hopefully not run into the wizard. Our going away list is completed, the van is packed to the hilt and we're excited to start on another adventure. We've made this trip umpteen times, but it's still fun and interesting. It looks like we're getting out ahead of the snow and really bad weather. The South is quite warm yet---we may even have to run the air conditioner for awhile. It's always sad leaving friends and family here but we have a winter set in Arizona. The change is good. It helps to keep us young!

A Double Blessing

Since my DH and I both had families before we married, we are blessed with two sets of grandchildren. Believe me, that's a lot of kids but we love every one of them. They're all different with unique personalities---some are sweet, some are sassy and a few are downright naughty. It's always fun to visit them or have them visit us, but the best part is that they're not our responsibility. When we've had enough, we can leave or send them home. Parenting is a tough job, but grandparenting is a cinch!

The Gift

Fifteen years ago today, my life changed forever. I lost my husband of 36 years. When he accepted the fact that his life would soon be over, he gave me a wonderful gift. He told me I should get married again because he didn't want me to live alone. At the time, I couldn't imagine such a thing and protested that there was no way I could ever replace him. Three years later, a miracle occurred---I did remarry with no feelings of guilt or remorse. Don't ever ask your spouse to make promises that he or she can't keep. Give the gift of unending love.

Dry Bones

One of the down sides of aging is dry, brittle bones. Six years ago, I missed a step and instantly broke my leg in three places. What a wake-up call that was! All of a sudden, I was one-legged, scooting around in a wheelchair. I was dependent on the DH for almost everything. Just getting to the bathroom was a huge production. I'd worked in a nursing home for 28 years but never felt the empathy that I developed over the next six weeks---I'd been placed in their shoes. Eventually, my husband commented that he was getting pretty tired of my broken leg, to which I replied, "Not as tired as I am". Well, two years later, we were at the lake, he went down a slope in flip-flops and broke his ankle in several places. Now it was his turn to hop around and depend on me for his care. Of course, I couldn't resist telling him that I was getting pretty tired of his broken ankle!

Cakes, Cakes and More Cakes

When my daughter announced her impending marriage, I took cake decorating classes so I could make her wedding cake. Prior to this, my mother was a professional decorator and she took care of the special occasions. After my classes, Mother never decorated another cake. She very subtly passed the baton and I found myself doing cakes for the whole family. This meant wedding cakes, birthday cakes, anniversary cakes and don't forget the dozens of gingerbread houses. Now I've pretty much given it up as my hands are too stiff and painful. It's time to pass on the pastry bag, and the future brides of the family will have to make do with bakery cakes!

Leisure Time

Now that we're older, we have a tendency to be lazy and don't entertain as much as we used to. It's wonderful when we do see relatives and friends but sometimes it just takes too much effort to plan a get-together. We have plenty of time but our butts are dragging. It's too bad we didn't have this much leisure when we were young enough to appreciate it.

Paint Your Wagon

It seems that wherever we are, we need to decorate our surroundings. The camper is our home for several months of the year, so my mission is to make it homey. This means planting flowers, pulling weeds, raking the sand and painting fun things on the outside. Our place is easy to spot because it's unique. There's no rule that says you have to be like everybody else----march to your own drummer, even if he looks like Kokopelli.

Just a Little Sting

Dentists are a necessary evil. You awake one morning with an excruciating toothache, call the dental office and are informed that they have no openings for several days. When you finally do get in, you're nearly out of your mind with pain as you shake in your boots waiting to be guided to "the chair". Once you're firmly ensconsed, he says, "This will sting a little", while inserting a foot-long needle that goes straight into your brain. Then, what's this? Blessed relief! Your troubles are over until he hands you the bill----no amount of Novocaine can dull THAT pain.

Cornered

I was evidently a naughty little kid, because I spent an awful lot of time sitting in the corner. I had a little red chair that got utilized nearly every day. My mother was using this tactic years before the Supernanny came along. I was 3 or 4 years old during World War II and the Japanese were our enemies. One day I was angry at my mom and tried to think of the nastiest thing I could say, so I called her a "dirty Jap". Well, that did the trick! She still remembered it 60 years later and related the story to my husband. Sorry Mother....

Pinch Your Pennies

In this precarious economic age, we need to rethink our life style and our spending habits. Young people should start living more like retirees. We don't buy anything new unless the old one is broken. If we eat out, it's lunch rather than dinner. We find bargains at garage sales instead of shopping at the Mall. After we've accumulated too many "bargains" , we have our own sale. We do our own painting, decorating and yardwork, rather than hire professionals, and we stay out of the casinos most of the time. So if you're having problems making ends meet, talk to the old folks---we're smarter than you think.

Hidden Blessings

On a summer Sunday 6 years ago, the DH and I were at the lake, as usual. The weather was unsettled, which wasn't a surprise in July and we weren't particularly worried, as we were invited to a gathering at a friend's farm. We left the cabin at noon and when we arrived at the party, we were horrified to find our friends glued to the weather channel---a tornado was spotted over our lake. We later discovered that the tornado hit our cabin at 2 o'clock (that's when the clocks stopped) and destroyed the back portion of the building and sent the roof into the park. Of course, we were overwhelmed at first, but the DH called his carpenter friend and they proceeded to rebuild it. Within a couple of months, we had new rooms on the back and the rest of it was upgraded as well. Many thanks to an ambitious husband, a talented friend, family members and the insurance company. Sometimes a tragedy can become a blessing.

A Tribute to Mother

Ten years ago today, my dear mother died. She'd been paralyzed for seven of those years and was ready to go home. I was privileged to be with her for the last hours of her life. Since she brought me into this world, it was only fair that I should help her cross over. I talked to her, prayed with her, sang her hymns. Even though she was comatose, I'm sure she felt the love. She was an exceedingly generous person, always helping somebody---family, friends, neighbors---nobody was turned away. A more mundane claim to fame was her baked beans; she made the world's best beans and was asked to bring them wherever food was served. At one time, she jokingly told me to have "The Bean Queen" engraved on her tombstone, but there's an angel on there instead because she was an angel to so many people.

Party On!

Our Support Group loved to have parties and I'm afraid that I hosted most of them. Any little thing was an excuse to have a get-together, but of course, Halloween was the big one. We were like a bunch of teenagers again, dressing up in outrageous costumes and playing jokes on each other. Give yourself permission to access your inner child every once in awhile---it will keep you young.

Eat Those Veggies

Yuma's claim to fame is being the Vegetable Capital of the country. This is true. It's not unusual to see a field of broccoli or lettuce growing in the middle of town and along nearly every highway leading into the city. It's always awe-inspiring to be greeted by vegetable fields as we arrive for the winter. Throughout our stay, we watch as the fields are cultivated, planted and harvested and then the whole procedure starts over again. Fresh broccoli, lettuce, onions, cabbage, etc. are available all winter at very reasonable prices. Frequently, a kind worker even delivers boxes of veggies to our RV park free of charge. Those free ones REALLY taste good!

Tip Your Hat

A mother wears many different hats during her lifetime. She becomes cook, nurse, teacher, chauffeur, just to name a few. Some hats are serious and some are just plain fun. Fifty years ago, hats were mandatory for church, nurses were required to wear them, men wore hats for dress up. Sometimes a hat is a lifesaver on a bad hair day. So whether it's a sun bonnet or a ball cap, wear your hat with pride.

Bridge to the Future

Several years ago a group of us embarked on a trip to the Bridges of Madison County. We'd read the book and seen the movie and were enthralled. We were all widowed with no prospects but still had romance in our souls. Being in that area gave us hope for the future and permission to continue with our lives. A couple of years after the trip most of us were in relationships and discovered that there is life after loss. It's important to plan for tomorrow even if it looks pretty bleak. In this case, we found a bridge to somewhere.

Camp Town

When you live in an RV camp it's like a large family compound. Residents help each other and share problems. All one has to do is raise the hood of a car or truck and several guys appear out of nowhere, offering assistance and advice. Drive into the camp with a few pieces of lumber and several neighbors follow you to your site. I always tell the DH not to worry if he doesn't know how to do a project---somebody will come over to help---and they always do!

Tricks or Treats?

Halloween is coming, a scary time for the kids. Ghosts, ghouls and politicians will be running rampant but the youngsters will summon their courage and go after the candy. The prospect of bountiful treats wins over the possibility of tricks. It's not only for the youngsters that this is a frightening time, however. Adults have even more to be scared of---the economy, terrorists, the election, healthcare---all with dire consequences. Do you think the tricks will ever end and we'll finally get some treats?

Must Love Horses

The first time the DH met my 3 year old Arizona granddaughter, she was riding a stick horse around the house. She was thrilled to have a new grandpa and mimicked everything he did. Since he wore a Western hat and smoked a pipe, she plopped a little red cowboy hat on her head and smoked a stick. Now she's almost sweet 16 and has given up the hat and the stick pipe but still loves horses. Several years ago she traded the stick horse in on a big, black piece of horseflesh named Maverick. Hey, maybe he should run for President!

Training Thoughts

When I was a young girl the highlight of the summer was a trip to St. Paul to visit my dad's family. We usually went by train, which was an adventure in itself. It was thrilling to walk drunkenly down the aisle while the train swayed back and forth. To keep us quiet and contained, the folks bought us comic books when we went on trips. This was a special treat, since we didn't usually get them. The most fascinating area of the train was the rest room. The sanitation code was not yet in place so the toilet waste dropped directly onto the tracks. It was fascinating to peer into the hole and see the rails fly by. Then we'd finally arrive at the station and wait for my Uncle Ervin in the largest room I'd ever entered. Seeing a train still triggers nice memories but now, instead of families, the cars are filled with Chinese junk for Walmart!

Rainy Day Blues

We're never satisfied with the weather. If it doesn't rain, we complain about the drought. If it does rain, we complain about the wet, dreary weather. Snow is beautiful but we go to Arizona to avoid it. Rain is nearly non-existent in the desert but we don't like the dust storms. If the temp is less than 70 degrees in Arizona, we shiver and say it's a cold winter, even though it's probably below zero at home. It seems that there's just no pleasing us old folks.

Good Choice, Bad Choice

When something unfortunate happens, you need to look for the reason. Maybe your attitude was poor or you made a wrong decision. Maybe you were careless due to exhaustion or stress. Many people have the same lament---"I have nothing but bad luck". You'll notice that individuals with positive attitudes seem to lead charmed lives and negative sour pusses have more instances of "bad luck". Attitude is everything. If you expect the best, that's what you'll get. If you expect the worst, Fate will definitely oblige.

Happily Ever After

Weddings are out of control. Thousands of dollars are spent every day on ceremonies that last for a few hours. All too often, the marriages don't last much longer. If couples would devote as much time, effort and enthusiasm to planning the marriage as they do the wedding, they'd probably stay married a lifetime. The wedding should not be the be-all and end-all to a relationship. It should be the beginning of a 50 year partnership. Obviously, too many marriages are entered into lightly these days, since spouses are traded in like used cars---this isn't meeting my expectations, guess I'll get a newer model. Young couples contemplating marriage should stop to realize that it isn't the wedding that counts, it's the happily ever after.

Steal That Ball

It's football season again and the little leaguers are even more excited than the pros. Where else can they push somebody's face into the ground and be cheered by their parents? Beating up the little brother provokes the wrath of Dad but pummeling a fellow player brings on lots of "attaboys". Little league football not only teaches the kids discipline and teamwork but it gets the entire family involved. Unfortunately, the parents are often more enthused than the players. Perhaps we're encouraging the kids to grow up too soon?

A Mouse Tale

My grandmother was raised in a large family on the edge of the prairie. They had no modern conveniences and life was difficult. The children each had assigned responsibilities. One day Grandma was in the dirt cellar doing laundry in a wash tub. She was hot and hungry but couldn't leave her job until it was finished. All of a sudden her younger brother appeared stating ,"Here, Sissy, I made you a sandwich." She couldn't believe he was being so thoughtful, but was grateful to accept his offering. As she was about to take a bite, she noticed a tail hanging out the side. He'd made her a mouse sandwich! The moral of this story is: "Don't trust a smiling brother---he may be bearing tails."

A Persistent Ghost

During the course of my long nursing home career, I met a lot of characters. Among them was an octogenarian named Kathryn. She had wild white hair and even wilder eyes. She was belligerent, uncooperative and totally unlovable. Her one redeeming quality was that she had an invisible lover named Dan. She would do absolutely nothing without him. Today she'd be hauled into a psychiatrist's office a couple of times a week in an attempt to convince her that Dan didn't exist. Back then the staff just humored her. The dining room girls set a place for him, the cook dished him a plate, the nurses aides tucked him into Kathryn's bed every night. Eventually, someone delved further into her history and discovered that she had been engaged to a young man named Dan who was killed in the war. According to Kathryn, Dan never left her side and who are we to judge? Maybe he didn't!

Watch Your Mouth

My first daughter-in-law was not a fan of our family. She was a skinny little thing with a very sharp edge. Her sister was even worse. The two of them ridiculed my daughters, who were normal girls, and referred to them as the "Chumpkin Twins". Not surprisingly, she was only in our family for an excruciatingly long 2 or 3 years. Now 25 years later, she and her sister are both large women and the "Chumpkin Twins" are still average size. So be careful what you say---you may have to eat your words one day and they'll go straight to your hips!

A Tribute to Dad

Today would have been my dad's 103rd birthday. He always said he'd live to be 100 and he darned near made it---91 years on this earth is a long time. Toward the end, he stated that he'd be passing out of the picture soon. Since we were planning to attend a family reunion in the Black Hills, I warned him that he'd better not go until we returned. So he waited until we'd been home for 5 days and then quietly slipped away in his sleep. He was never quite sure what lay ahead but was fond of saying, "We all take the same road eventually." I'm confident that he was pleasantly surprised when he reached his destination.